A Quote and a Thought
In my last post Things I Would Have Liked to Have Known When I Was Younger, I wrote about impermanence, and wouldn't you know it, today's quote from the Waking Up app was this one by Thich Nhat Hanh:
"It is not impermanence that makes us suffer. What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent when they are not."
Succinct and true.
Also, I wanted to share a small story that highlights the issue of acceptance well.
On a sunny cold March Sunday morning 3 of my six kids drove me to Hazelden for what would turn out to be a 3 month incarceration for prescription narcotic addiction.
Overnight I went from full professor, endowed chair, program director, blah blah blah - to just another miserable addict in rehab.
I was, to put it mildly, not happy to be there. In fact, I learned that I was voted "least likely to succeed" by my fellow inmates shortly after I arrived. Not good for a rehab joint. I was voted later to be "most improved," which offered me little in the way of solace given my mental starting gate.
I will never forget sitting with my counselor in his office on the couch on day 2, slumped down, angry, miserable, and depressed. He looked at me and said: "acceptance will set you free."
My first thought was fuck you. But later in my dorm room that I shared with 2 other comrades, I reflected on it and decided to give up the battle. I accepted the reality of the situation, and I finally quit fighting and resisting. I did what they told me to do.
Did that make everything hunky-dory? Not even close. The three months there were on so many levels a living hell. However, accepting my new reality prevented me from making a bad situation much worse with my resentment and anger.
He was right. Acceptance does set you free from the clenched fist of mental resistance that always makes a tough thing worse. It is like getting a second chance to line up at the starting gate so you can have another go at things, but with a more open mind and, if you really have your mental shit together, curiosity and a chance to learn.
