On my walk with Juno last
night, I was pondering what to write this newsletter about. To be clear, I started this recent newsletter flurry (flurry may be a bit strong, but whatever) with the intent of conveying the content of my recent keynote at the Department of Surgery at Indiana University. Seemed like a fairly straightforward linear process to me at the time.
But as always, when I start writing, stuff bubbles up from my neurological cauldron that I did not have in mind when I started to write, and this, at least to me, is the absolute magic of writing. Plus, I write to learn, as William Zinsser teaches in his book Writing to Learn. Writing takes all of those thoughts, ideas, and learnings jammed inside our brains like Bingo numbers rolling around in a Bingo cage and gets them out into the world with order and insights.
But I digress, so back to it. I hope you can see a thread woven into my last several posts about connection and relationships. During my time with Juno I had an afflatus (I know what you think an afflatus is, but it's actually a sudden divine-like inspiration): I realized that the flurry of posts is the groundwork, the foundation - just like learning how to suture or put ports in - for the real operation:
The skill of seeing and believing in others.
Over the next several newsletters, I will share what I have learned about the incredible power of seeing and believing in others to create a much richer and more human experience. This is, categorically, an antidote to the increasingly transactional and hyperefficient mindset that has slowly infiltrated our collective world, driven to a very large extent by the torrent of distractions and the miasma (a noxious atmosphere or influence) of urgency infiltrating our neurologic pores day in and day out.
So, to further consolidate my thinking and learning for the next flurry of newsletters, I decided to give a cliff notes summary of what I (we?) have learned over the last several days, with links to content that may further your understanding if you so desire.
What Got You Here Won't Get You There: The ability to get out of the prison of my personal self-trance and learn to see and understand another person's perspective is a broad skill supported by a layer of specific skills that can be learned and practiced.
It is exactly like operating. The broad skill is being able to conduct an operation. But there is a layer of individual and specific skills - e.g., how to suture, hold a needle driver, insert the ports, etc - that are the foundation of being able to conduct an operation beautifully.
The skills of being able to genuinely understand another's perspective by seeing and believing in them without judgment are the foundation of everyday leadership at home and at work because when people feel seen and believed in by you, they care about you and the mission. And one of a leader's biggest jobs is to get people to care.
Anais Nin Quote: We don't see the world or others as they really are, we see them as we are.
Perception vs Perspective:
Blind Spots: Notes from chapter 4, of Thanks for the Feedback below.
The Quality of Your Life Depends on the Quality of Your Relationships
The Crack That Lets the Light In: A moment in time when there is a shift in how you see the world. Once you see it, there is no going back.
Extreme Ownership:
Fix Everything Habit: the habit of surgeons (and most humans) of trying to "fix" every problem, which can get in the way of connecting with another person since sometimes all we want is to just get it out and be heard.
Dichotomies or Good Until It's Not: Pretty much everything is good until it's not (ice cream, sex, working, being nice, all of it!), and that includes the Fix Everything Habit. In the Fix Everything example, it is critical to know when to apply the habit and when to shut up and just listen.
Vulnerability Loop: Someone has to take the lead to create trust, as trust doesn't just come about out of the blue. When someone shares a vulnerability, the other person will sense the potential for psychological safety and respond in kind. But someone has to make the first move!
Redwoods Metaphor: The reason Redwood trees can grow so tall and big and survive "standing up" despite the winds and storms is because their shallow root system is a web of interconnecting roots of the trees. We need to be more like the Redwood trees. Individually strong and capable, but connected to each other through the power of our relationships with others to provide the support we all need to help us weather the storms of life, and to help us grow to the heights we are all capable of.
More to come😄
Feedback with a thumbs up or down is greatly appreciated, or drop an email to me michael@michaelmaddaus.com.
